The things I couldn’t tell you about A***s until now!

I have spent the past three months working as a Christmas temp at a well known retailer. Unfortunately once they had squeezed every last bit of Christmas cheer out of me in the run up to Christmas they decided there was no more work for me after the festive season so my temporary contract came to a natural end! The good thing was, it meant for my last few shifts I could be rude to the customer, as for the previous 3 months I had been very good, brown-nosing the management by being a proper arselicker working hard and volunteering for the worst shifts to secure a long term job (obviously to no avail!).

I might want to return as a Christmas temp in 2015 so I’m not going to name the retailer and it will be impossible to guess from the clues in this blog! They are not a standard retailer in that whereas every other retailer has a shop where you can see things and queue once to buy them, this particular retailer opted for a warehouse out of sight of customers. Customers look at one year old pictures in a catalogue (hope I haven’t given retailer away), queue once to pay (or to be told the last half an hour looking in the catalogue has been wasted because the stuff is out of stock). This retailer has a habit of producing glossy sale books with massive savings but then not a single sale item is in stock at any store. You then queue to pick up your item brought up from the stockroom. If then you decide the thing you have bought and queued twice for is not to your liking (or nothing like its catalogue description) you can queue a third time to return it. Micheal McIntyre described the whole system of waiting for your order number being called as “bingo for poor people” ( I still hope you haven’t guessed the retailer!).

I’m trying to work out who is worst? A**** staff or A**** customers?

Customers are rude and obnoxious and cause most of the queues by missing the point of the way the store works and arriving at the tills with no idea of what they want thinking that staff who have been there for 6 weeks have in depth knowledge of all ten thousand products on sale. They also like to play shopkeeper and collect their items before they have all arrived from the stockroom. The most annoying thing about working here is customers who think the staff are incapable of reading a receipt and collecting your items. Believe it or not but this retailer has a system and staff don’t need you to point out where your things are or make sneaky comments about all your items not being next to each other. You dont understand the system, so don’t pass judgement on things you know nothing about!

That doesn’t mean the staff are blameless. The management have a ruthless drive to sell product care and store cards and staff are measured on how much financial products they sell regardless of if the customer wants or can afford them! The system used to get customer orders to them is basic at best so spare a thought for poor staff stood saying “repeat…..repeat….repeat ” into their headsets like idiots. The system was obviously brought in without testing by senior management and geeks who never have to use it. It may look to the customer like the staff are incompetent when you just want to collect the things you have paid for and leave but actually frontline staff are battling with a crappy system to release your stock from the inventory system.

So as I head into 2015 with big plans, it’s time to start job hunting again to find something part time to top up my student loan! If you do take me on, be prepared for a scathing blog post when you sack me!

Happy New Year



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