Why the Internet is sh*t and other stories from this week!

Warning: it’s a bit of a rant I’m afraid!

They say the Internet is the best thing since sliced bread (although I do like the full loaves from the bakery). And I agree the Internet has revolutionised the way we can view videos of kittens doing funny things BUT when you really need it, it’s absolute F*****g S**t!!!!! I woke up to snow. No problem. Quick check online to see if schools open for the kids and trains running for me. NO. Because when you need the Internet for something it doesn’t work! The public transport website was down so it was back to the 1980’s way of finding out if the train is running. Stand in the cold at the station and wait! Bloody useless!

The latest Sky advert suggests with their great TV viewing you should hibernate for the winter. I’m all for this couch potato hibernating thing only the minute a snowflake falls on my Sky dish or a gust of wind greater then a cat sneezing then I loose signal. Not sure if it’s solar flares or just cheap and nasty satellite equipment but I’m not believing in better at the minute!

At least my son’s school is not knocked out by the snowfall. The Dictator, sorry headteacher was quick to update the website, text and e-mail us all to say the school is open in these snowy times. Followed up with the threat of a visit from the education welfare officer and a fine for taking a snow day (but following on from my recent blog still doing sod all to improve the low GCSE pass). It’s all well and good getting caretaker Willie out clearing the paths around the school if the same local authority who run the school don’t grit the roads to save money so parents can’t get out of their village. The dictator, sorry Headteacher (or principal as they like to be known now) does however believe in some regulated fun setting up a designated snowballing area. No word of a lie!

A story from my wife’s visit to a school as part of her work. At assembly the students have to stand up and have a uniform inspection which includes a detailed check to ensure shirt sleeves are level with where the blazer ends. This schools website promotes itself as preparing kids for the real World. I can’t remember the last time my boss inspected my shirt sleeves, can you?

A week ago Charle Hebdo printed those pictures and the World United in condemning Freedom, even those who are uneasy with those pictures and those who generally don’t like the publication. A week later The Sun scrap page 3 which is definitely the right decision (sic) and anyone who thinks otherwise is just wrong. It’s a funny old thing freedom isn’t it?

On the subject of The Sun, Ed Milliband still features heavily so they haven’t got rid of all the tits! To be honest topless women or half naked women or half naked men in a mainstream newspaper which is not relevant to a story does seem bizarre in this day and age. Nudity for the sake of nudity should really be saved for publications that specialise in stuff. You wouldn’t expect to see an article praising Margaret Thatcher in the Guardian or an intelligent piece of journalism in the daily Mail after all! My biggest problem with page 3 was that the only intelligent bit of real news in The Sun is on page 2 but you can’t read it on the train with page 3 alongside it for people thinking you’re an old perv! Feminists will no doubt be celebrating the win although in reality all they have done is dictate to other women that they must keep their tops on! On the subject of sexualisation the female glossy Cosmopolitan out smuts even the smuttiest men’s magazine regardless of whatever ideological stance it hides behind. People in glass houses and all that…..

And don’t get me started on cyclists, aka Lycra clad morons……..

P

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